Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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