Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
