Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
