Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
