I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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