please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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