Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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