Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
