Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
