they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
