This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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