you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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