Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
