im holly from the hills drunk
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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