OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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