dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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