yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
