Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
