yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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