dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
