question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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