im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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