Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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