I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
