And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dignity is for republicans.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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