I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I want to have your abortion
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
