Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize