My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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