What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
