I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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