Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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