I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
