It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Dignity is for republicans.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
