I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need to align my fucking chakras
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
