no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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