Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
