I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
