somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
