Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
