I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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