He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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