Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
