3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
