It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
