I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize