guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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