It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
