Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
