soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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