im about as happy as oj after his trial
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
