is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize