If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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