i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
