I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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