obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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