Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
