me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
