This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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