I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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